Babies = Vegetables?

Okay, here's a little weird factoid that I felt the pressing need to share:

Like I've mentioned in an earlier post, a few of my friends are expecting little bundles of life in short order. Well, because of this, I have become much more acquainted with the modern prenatal process than I was before--ultrasounds, midwives, doulas, What to Expect when You're Expecting, the kabillion types of nausea expectant mothers deal with, and so on and so on.

Well, this post deals with one of the stranger ones, and my response.

Apparently, doctors describe the size of developing babies based on different beans and eventually vegetables to give a proper reference point to the expectant parents.

Now, people have mentioned it to me with great excitement..."the baby is the size of a kidney bean!" And, surprisingly (to me, and probably only me because I seem to be one of the few people who asks questions like these), there are no mentions of how surreal it is that OB-GYNs are using vegetation to describe human beings.

And now for my idea...drumroll please...

I think one odd-enough couple expecting a baby should take a series of "baby's first pictures" with the different beans and vegetables that the doctors are using to describe the relative size of the baby.

Think about it! In this age of instant photography, it would be a real piece of postmodern art! Dress up the little veggie, and stage posed pictures with big happy smiles...It would be damn funny!

Of course, every couple I've presented this idea to has looked at me like I was some sort of lunatic. No one seems to want to take baby pictures with a bunch of vegetables. Now, come on, imagine some sullen 16 or 17 year old coming across a little photo album entitled "Baby's First Pictures" and sees a bunch of pictures of the parents he thinks are chronically unhip smiling joyfully with a bunch of vegetables.

I like imagining things like that.

So, since people seem to think this idea is a little too wacky for them, I'm just going to have to wait until it's my turn to wait for a child to "hatch." Mark my words, (if I can convince the future mother of my children this is a good idea) there will be vegetable baby pictures.

And you won't be at all surprised that my grin will be quite genuine!