Winning Well, and Losing Better: Thoughts on Sportsmanship

I hear again and again that respect is something that must be earned.  "You don't just give it...blah, blah, blah...otherwise you're going to be a doormat your entire life."  I'm hearing it more and more in the social/cultural zeitgeist, and I just don't agree.

 Those worthy of real respect give it freely to all.  The only respect I have to truly earn is self-respect, and that is a process I have to learn every day.

Lately, I've been to several competitions and watched even more streamed online or on television.  I'm struck by the characters on display when it comes to the act of winning and losing.  I saw it a few months ago when Cam Newton, a local hero was praised weekly for marquis theatrics on winning, and then flayed by the same audience when he couldn't bring that same smile to the loss of the big, big game.

It's a simple matter of sportsmanship.  Both public responses were his fault...and ours, too.

We seem to live in a society now that insists that "winners win and losers lose."  Again, I absolutely disagree.  In  any zero-sum competition, there will be a winner and there will be a loser of the contest.  Whether those players are "winners" or "losers" is entirely up to them, irrespective of how we respond.

I've seen overwhelmingly good sportsmanship in my martial arts life, but even that sanctum is now falling to more and more of our culture's sense of "winning" and "losing."  Especially in competition fighting, there will always be a winner and a loser of the individual contest.  Most of the time, especially in the two organizations of which I am a member, the contest ends in a hug and congratulations on a good fight, good form, and good competition.

When the tone of the competition moves in the other direction, it absolutely breaks my heart.  Seeing semi-taunting victory, bitter loss, arguing with judges--this is all in dissonance with everything I believe about karate.  I used to see these responses very seldom, but now I'm seeing them a good bit more.  Fortunately, in the martial arts organizations I love so much, corrective action follows those behaviors, and it is clear that they are not okay.  In many cases, these are formative lessons for younger practitioners who are, although responsible for their actions as young adults, still at an age where an emotional response to loss or a perceived injustice such as a judge's call still makes sense.

It's hard to lose.  I've lost a lot in my life, and I've won a lot, too.  Funnily enough, the losses shaped my skill set more than the victories.  After taking a very hard jumping back-spin side kick to the solar plexus (which I felt for days), I spent a lot of time thinking about ways to neutralize that position.  I haven't been hit cleanly by that technique since that important lesson.  Of course, now that I've mentioned it, I'm sure that one of my esteemed colleagues will find a way to get one of them past me, but that's part of the learning experience, too!

The ability to compete is a gift.  I spent the last month preparing for sparring and forms for traditional tournament, but I sustained a minor (but painful) knee injury two days before tournament that severely limited what I was able to do.  Next year, I'm committed to bringing some real competitive spirit to the tournament.  I might win and I might lose.  I'm not particularly concerned either way.  I'll be competing with friends who I plan to know for the next thirty or forty years, and I plan to honor their effort and achievement no matter the outcome.

That's what makes tournaments great, and I'm hoping next year will be a big one.

 
OSU!