Dear Hollywood...STOP.

Dear Hollywood,

STOP.

I mean it. Stop, please. I've personally had it up to my eyebrows with the "remake fever" that has gripped all of you in recent years.

Please, tell me, what happened to creativity in motion pictures? For those of you that don't know, I'm something of a movie freak. And by something, I mean wayoutthere, understatement of the century "something." I love movies. I haven't seen fewer than five movies in a week since I was 7 years old, perhaps younger.

And let me tell you, Hollywood...I am so disappointed in you.

In an age where CGI technology is starting to look pretty daggum real, where absolutely anything is possible in the movies, most of what I get from you is an endless series of remakes--remakes to classics, remakes to flops, remakes to movies that haven't even been out FIVE YEARS.

First example...Repo Men. Why make this movie? The concept was original and exciting when it was used in REPO: The Genetic Opera, and I was pretty amused by the whole thing. Now, it wasn't the best movie ever, and I understand that rock operas aren't for everyone, but why not try to find an original story to attach all that A-list star power to?

Second example...A Nightmare on Elm Street. I know that the CGI revolution, along with the cinema's returned interest to the horror genre after Saw shocked Sundance, brought a new age to horror flicks...but, why? The original Nightmare is an unqualified classic. Now, horror isn't for everyone, but I'll tell you this, Nightmare was one scary movie. And, one of the best things about it was that it was fairly low-budget. So, tell me again, why remake this movie? It will be a reimagining, but I don't buy the whole "introduce the concept to a new generation" thing. The sad thing is, I'm actually going to have to see this movie. If it is actually good, I'll eat a whole mess of crow about it, but to be honest with you, I doubt it.

Third example...The Karate Kid. Let me repeat that...THE KARATE KID! Why do this to us? That movie is a classic! And, it defined the entire careers of its two stars. Who are they going to get to play these roles? Will Smith's kid as Daniel, and Jackie Chan as Miyagi. Sorry to be a naysayer (no, I'm not), but Jackie Chan doesn't have the gravitas necessary to fill the iconic presence of that character.

More examples that have me fuming: Arthur, Romancing the Stone, Back to School, Meatballs, Metropolis (#@$%#@$%@!!!!!), Clash of the Titans, My Fair Lady (please, don't...please?), The Birds, Poltergeist, The Rocky Horror Picture Show...and about 45 more being filmed in 2010...unneccessarily.

Hollywood...do you want a suggestion? If you want to introduce a new audience to great movies...why not re-release classic movies in theatres? People will go to limited releases of great movies! It doesn't have to be a gigantic national release, but if you took the time to remaster excellent movies...PEOPLE WILL COME SEE THEM! What possible good does it do to the American cinema to rehash old plot lines and reshoot movies that were GREAT THE FIRST TIME.

Hollywood, STOP. I'm so &!)(*^&ing disappointed in you. Shape up.

Here ends the rant.

Disdainfullly yours,

Ben


(PS...The performance season is over, so...I'm back in the blogosphere.)