Lost in Translation, or "But some fear thing after death"

As I get older, my humor seems to be getting more and more absurd. I'm sure many of you will agree. I was sitting in the coffeehouse yesterday playing with Babelfish, and I decided to translate a few simple phrases into Japanese...because I think the characters look cool. Then, on a lark, I decided to translate those characters back into English. The result was comic gold. The idioms and syntax of different languages being what they are, when something is re-translated it comes out wildly absurd...and definitely tickles my funny bone. I'm sure other people have tried this as well, but I get the feeling I'm going to have a lot of fun with it. So, I decided to post a few literary gems...Lost in Translation.

First...Hamlet

Because of a certain or because it is not, that is question;
' Whether or not; In order the topping lift of a nobler tis inhuman good fortune and the arrow or the arm to take with the heart which suffers vis-a-vis the sea of trouble,
and finish those with in the opposite direction.
In order to die, in order to sleep; Above this;
And as for us as for that meat of mental agony and thousand natural impacts which finish with the sleep which is said the successor
- the ' So it is; From tis consummation heart wish' Because it is;
D. in order to die, in order to sleep; In order to sleep, in order to look at perchance dream.
Ay and there' For with the sleep of s friction and death whether perhaps,
any dream comes, when mixing from the coil where we do not escape this death separated,
we must give pause. There' s point that disaster of such long life is made,
someone for the sake of whether it withstands the rod,
time scorns, Th' oppressor' The wrongdoing of s, man' which you brag;
contumely of s and intense it is painful, law' of the love which is scorned;
It repulses the haughty attitude of the lag and the office of s,
th' The patient advantage; When perhaps, the acquisition which does not have value,
him him himself that quietus which is made using naked bodkin?
Someone the fardels [ku] [ma], and in order the sweat to groan under the life which becomes fatigued, but some fear thing after the death,
the unknown national traveler from bourn does not reset, is perplexed will,
and on the other hand there are no we whom it makes those sicknesses withstand which we have in us, you have known besides the fact that to, from growing?
Therefore conscience our all cowardly people are made,
and in this way, hue sicklied of original product of decision o' It is;
Being warped, it turns the flow obtaining - casting ones whose thought is thin and, and large pitch and with this point of enterprise of the time, and lose the name of behavior.

Next, Woody Allen's opening to Annie Hall

It's an old joke. Well, the Catskill Mountains two resources of the elderly women of [cough] and a 'Day of the "boy, this place, but says the food is really great, another one" Yeah I was aware that, say such a small part. " Well, that is how life feels in nature. The loneliness, misery and pain and misery and full, it is much too early on. Is, for me, the other important joke is usually the result of GURUCHOMARUKUSU. However, I originally Freud "appears to wit, I think it is related to the unconscious." And goes like this, and I paraphrase, uh: I, like my membership I would prefer not to belong to a club like that. That's a joke in terms of significant relationships with adult women in my life. Also, I know the hearts that have been strange recently - 'cause, I was 40. And I was in danger of life or something, I do not know, um, I'm going and I think aging is not worried. If one of the letters I, I, um, well, I'm on some hair loss. Probably the worst thing you can tell me thatÕs. I, um, I think it will be much better in my hands before, you know, and I think, hair loss, strong type, like you, and opposed to say Yeah, gray, for example, identify . You know 'I have two of both low. 'My deduction is the saliva of his mouth, dribbling a SA迷U crowd to the cafeteria and bring a shopping bag, screaming about socialism. Annie and I were disbanded. And I, if I can not get my mind around it now, I know in my heart, sifting of work to keep me, examine my life, here So, come to understand that the screw. You know, the one before us, in love, you know. And, and I was morose type I was not in my character is not depressed. I, I, I uh, you, I'm quite happy with as a child, I guess. I fed the first two in Brooklyn during World War ...

He seems even more neurotic this way, doesn't he?


And now, Poetry!

Robert Frost...

The two roads in a yellow wood, branches
Sorry I could not travel and
And a single traveler, I have long standing
I only saw up and down a single In bushes, bending it;

Then, just like this, it took another
Claims that, probably better
It is covered with grass, wear a hope;
As it is passed there
Is actually about the same, and wear them

Morning and put the same
The light is still a step in the black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Get to know how to yet I need to come back if I have questions.

I sighed, and indicated that this Hence some age and age:
Two roads, wood, and I jump,
I travel a little is taken
It has all the difference.


"Yet I need to come back if I have questions." Don't we all.

Langston Hughes

Well, son, I tell me:
My life is not a crystal stair.
To do this,
I did have a tack And debris,
The board is torn
And the location of the carpet on the floor -- Bear.
However, all the time
I'se a climbin 'and,
And reachin 'landin,
And turnin 'corners,
And sometimes' is done in the dark
Here, in the light.
To turn against the boy is.
If not, set to step down '
If the cause is hard gently.
Do not fall now --
I'se done yet, honey,
I'se still climbin ',
Crystal Stairs is not my life.

Now, this next one should be very weird...Allan Ginsberg, "Howl" (first section...it'd be too long otherwise)

I was destroyed in the heart of the best of my generation
Madness, starving hysterical, naked
At dawn, dragged through the town black
To correct the outrage, see
Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
The process is connected to the generator of the stars
Work at night,
Second Saturday of high poverty and tatters and hollow,
Smoking in the supernatural darkness
Cold-water flats floating to the top of the city,
Contemplative jazz

Whoa.



And finally, Song Lyrics!

"Sesame Street"

Sunny Day Sweepin 'distance of the cloud
The air here is sweet for me
Can you tell me how to get the
How Sesame Street is a
Come and play
All of A, [OK] to Neighbors are friendly
We are satisfied that the
Can you tell me how to get
How Sesame Street is a

This is a magic carpet ride
I opened the door to all
People like you are happy to --
People like happy people
How beautiful

Sunny Day
Sweepin 'distance of the cloud
The air here is sweet for me
Can you tell me how to get the
How Sesame Street is the ...
How Sesame Street is a
How to ...


Try to sing it...I dare you. Twisted.

Now, a Michael Jackson lyric. I had to... "Smooth Criminal"

To, as he came to the window
I heard that it reaches its climax
He came to her apartment
He left the bloodstains on the carpet
She is under the table Orchid
He was please she did not see
So the orchids in her bedroom
He strikes her down was her doom
Are you OK Annie?
To do this, okay Annie
The Annie OK Are you OK Annie?
To do this, okay Annie
The Annie OK Are you OK Annie?
To do so, Are you OK Annie?
You, Annie, are you okay?
Are you OK Annie?
To do this, okay Annie, you OK, Annie? (Are you OK Annie?)
It is good for you
(Can you tell me?) (The signs in the window)
(It is here that he struck out - Annie Crescendo)
In your apartment (he) (He left the bloodstains on the carpet)
(Later, in the room) Lan (Your down strikes) and (It) was your doom
Are you OK Annie?
To do so, Are you OK Annie?
Annie [OK] What are you?
Are you OK Annie?
To do so, Are you OK Annie?
Annie [OK] What are you?
Are you OK Annie?
To do so, Are you OK Annie?
Annie [OK] What are you?
You have suffered a You have been hit - V is a smooth criminal